


waltz #2

by thekardemomme



Series: Spierfeld Week [3]
Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Fix-It of Sorts, M/M, Misunderstandings, POV Bram Greenfeld, Pre-Slash, Snippets, bram loves simon a lot?, idk how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-21 14:10:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14286627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekardemomme/pseuds/thekardemomme
Summary: Bram deserves a great love story, and he intends to get one after he finds out who Jacques is.(Mostly canon book events from Bram's POV)





	waltz #2

**Author's Note:**

> any scenes, lines, events, etc that you recognize belong to becky albertalli and are taken directly from simon vs the homo sapiens agenda
> 
> day 3 of spierfeld week: canon filler

It’s the hardest email Bram has ever had to type.

If Jacques had figured out who he was, he thinks he might have an actual heart attack. And Bram does feel rather guilty for thinking about it so hard, for following Jacques’ accidental trail of clues. But he couldn’t help it. Just as Jacques is so desperate to know him, Bram was desperate to know Jacques.

Now that he knows, though… He can’t help but feel a little guilty. Because Jacques left himself anonymous for a reason, for the _same_ reason that Bram kept himself anonymous. He feels like he invaded Jacques’ privacy. But he’s pretty sure he knows, and he has to tell Jacques.

Or, if he’s right—he has to tell Simon that he knows he’s Jacques.

He’s typed the email countless times. He’s read back over every email that left a clue, stopping on the one heartbreaking one from Christmas that makes him tear up every time he reads it.

_I officially had the most epically weird and awful Christmas ever, and most of it I can’t even tell you about. Which really sucks. So, yeah. Basically, due to certain mysterious circumstances, I’m now out to my whole family and will soon be out to the whole freaking universe. And I guess that’s all I can say about it._

That email is what makes him feel the worst. Simon hadn’t had the best outing experience, and here Bram—Blue—was to make him feel worse. But he can’t bite his tongue anymore, he just can’t. It’s not fair to Simon for Bram to hold onto this secret if he wouldn’t be happy if Simon were to do the same. He has to tell.

So, January 5th at 9:59pm, he types the paragraph he never wanted to write. Not like this, anyway.

_Okay. I have to tell you something, and I think it may be something upsetting. I actually don’t think my timing could be worse, but I can’t think of any way around it, so here goes:_

_Jacques, I’m almost positive I know who you are._

_Love, Blue_

He presses send at 10:01pm, and closes his laptop. He doesn’t hear the email notification all night long, and even though it’s not unusual for a day to pass between emails, Bram can’t help but fear that he really messed this up.

***

Simon thinks he’s Cal Price.

It’s a thought that Bram can’t really wipe from his mind. He knows he should be relieved. After all, wasn’t the whole point of this to be anonymous? He and Jacques had agreed on it from the beginning, and just because he knows that Jacques is Simon doesn’t mean that he has any right to expect Simon to know that Bram is Blue.

But it does sting, just a little bit. Because Bram guessed Simon because he so, so desperately wanted it to be Simon. Was Bram just good at concealing his identity, or does Simon just really want it to be Cal Price? Bram can’t pretend he doesn’t know that Cal and Simon are probably a lot closer due to the play rehearsals. All Bram does is sit with him at lunch, never saying a word to Simon because he’s too chickenshit.

So it’s really not Simon’s fault. Bram shouldn’t be upset about it.

Besides, there’s a more important thing to think about. Simon assumed that Bram knew it was him because of some post on creeksecrets. Bram hasn’t looked at creeksecrets in months, and he’d told Simon as much. But now he has to know. Now he’s curious.

So, he opens the tumblr. It takes a while of scrolling through tons of high school bullshit to find the post Simon was talking about. It has a ton of notes, and Bram’s heart sinks before he even gets around to reading the whole thing. The title _“SIMON SPIER’S OPEN INVITATION TO ALL DUDES”_ is foreboding enough. He has to take a deep breath to prepare himself, because he knows what’s coming.

_Dear all dudes of Creekwood,  
With this missive, I hereby declare that I am supremely gay and open for business. Interested parties may contact me directly to discuss arrangements for anal buttsex. Or blue-jobs. But don’t give me blue balls. Ladies need not apply. That is all._

Part of Bram wishes he’d just given Simon his phone number so he could call Simon and give him one thousand apologies. He wishes he could’ve been there, he wishes he would’ve known that Simon’s outing to the universe was this terrible. No wonder Simon had been more down in the dumps lately.

He grabs his phone, texting Nick.

**Bram Greenfeld**  
_I had no idea Simon got outed on creeksecrets  
Do you know who did that?_

**Nick Eisner**  
_No clue. I don’t know if Simon knows either._

**Bram Greenfeld**  
_That’s so messed up. I can’t believe there’s actually people at Creekwood who think that pulling stunts like that is funny.  
Is Simon okay?_

**Nick Eisner**  
_I wish I had the answer to that  
He’s been avoiding us all break_

**Bram Greenfeld**  
_Oh  
Let me know if you hear from him, okay?_

He tosses his phone aside, scrubbing his hands over his face. He can’t believe that Simon has had to face this alone for all this time. Bram knows Creekwood, he knows what will happen at school because of this. His heart aches for Simon more than ever. He knew Simon’s outing to the universe was something he was unhappy about, but he can’t believe it was something like _this_.

If only Bram had the courage to tell Simon he’s not as alone as he thinks.

***

One Thursday, Cal Price comes out as bisexual. Bram wonders if Simon’s happy about that.

***

_Well, Blue is kind of my superhero identity, so you’re really talking about my civilian identity. But that’s obviously miles away from the point. It’s just that I don’t know what else to say. I’m truly sorry, Simon._

_Anyways, it looks like things are working out the way you wanted them to. So, good for you._

_—Blue_

It still feels weird not to end his emails with _Love, Blue._ But Simon doesn’t sign his with love, either, anymore. Bram supposes he should’ve seen this coming. He can’t blame Simon for the fact that Jacques liked Blue better when he thought Blue was Cal Price.

He’s happy for Simon, he is. Simon deserves a good love story.

***

The first time Bram sees Simon’s play is at school. He’s more than a little excited, because he saw Simon with that hot eyeliner at lunch today and he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it ever since. He thinks Garrett knows. It scares Bram, a little bit, that he doesn’t care that Garrett probably knows.

The chatter silences only slightly when Ms. Albright steps out onto the stage. Bram can tell from the no-nonsense look on her face that something’s wrong, and they’re all about to get lectured. But he can’t think of any fights that had happened today, and they hadn’t been particularly loud. He can’t think of what this would be about.

“Hi,” Ms. Albright begins, but she doesn’t sound cheery. “Some of you know me. I’m Ms. Albright, the theater teacher. So I know you’re all here to see an exclusive sneak preview of a pretty awesome play. We’ve got a great cast and crew, and we’re eager to get started. But before we get to that, I want to spend a couple of minutes reviewing Creekwood’s bullying policy together.”

Bram’s heart starts to pound. He turns to Garrett. “What happened?” He asks, but Garrett just shrugs. People around them laugh and jeer, and Bram feels like he’s on the outside of some extensive inside joke.

“Does anyone recognize this?” Ms. Albright continues, when the crowd quietens. “This is the Creekwood handbook, which you should have read and signed at the beginning of the year. Part of signing this handbook is making a promise to the staff as well as your fellow students that you will follow the rules established in this school. These rules exist to keep people safe. And when these rules are broken, we take it very seriously. When it comes to bullying, Creekwood High has a zero tolerance policy.”

Garrett taps his arm, and Bram turns to face him. His face looks somber. “It’s about Spier,” Garrett whispers. “Someone changed his name on the cast list in the atrium. He was listed as Fagin’s Boy, and now he’s… You know. Someone crossed out a couple of letters in Fagin.”

Bram glances back up at Ms. Albright, and his mind goes to Simon.

He thinks of the last email Simon sent him. The one he has yet to respond to.

_Seriously, I don’t know what in God’s holy name you’re talking about, because pretty much nothing seems to be working out the way I want it to._

***

One Monday, after Bram had dragged Garrett to that stupid play another two times, Simon stops sitting at their lunch table.

“He played all of us,” Abby explains, when Garrett asks about the distinctly empty seat. “You know Martin Addison? He found out, somehow, that Simon was gay. And he was blackmailing Simon, threatening to out him unless Simon helped him get with me. And, it’s like, I know he was in a tough spot. But I should get to choose who I date, you know? Not to mention the fact that he lied to, like, all of us. To me and to Nick and to Leah. All to get me to date Addison. I don’t know. He said that he barely helped Martin at all, and that’s why Martin outed him, but it’s still so fucked up.”

Bram’s stomach twists. But instead of throwing up all over the table, he blurts out what he never really meant to say out loud. “That’s really shitty of you to say, actually,” he tells Abby. She and Nick both look shocked, but Bram continues before she can come up with a rebuttal. “He was being _blackmailed_. Coming out is a really scary thing, and it’s something that Simon should have complete control over. Martin took that from him. Martin bullied him, whether you want to call it that or not. I mean, honestly, how many times have you heard Semen Queer? And weren’t you there when those douchebags came into rehearsal with signs making fun of Simon? The world sucks, Abby. Coming out sucks. And the fact that you’re mad because he was being blackmailed, and are now abandoning him when he needs friends the most? That’s really shitty. He deserves better than that.”

Nick and Abby share a look, but don’t say anything. Bram figures it’s because they know that he’s right. He picks up his tray and throws away all of his food without eating it, and leaves the cafeteria. It doesn’t feel right to sit there without Simon.

***

Simon never wears the Elliott Smith shirt to school, and Bram’s insides feel torn apart with guilt. He’d really, really, royally messed this up. He’d had a crush on Simon Spier since 9th grade, got to know the deepest parts of him, fell in love with those, and now he’s ruined it. And for what, a little jealousy? Some fear? He feels so, so stupid.

He’d left his phone number in the hopes that Simon still wanted it. But every single notification that Bram jumped to check proved fruitless. It was never Simon. No texts ever came through asking if this was Blue, no voicemails were left telling him to eat more Oreos. Bram couldn’t tell if it was because Simon really did want to be with Cal Price, or if he was just too down and out about everything to invest his hope in Blue again.

Bram doesn’t blame him for not trusting Blue. He’d broken Simon’s heart, at least a little. Bram isn’t stupid. He knows how he hurt Simon. And he knows that Simon is alone, and he knows Simon’s world is crumbling to pieces around him. He wonders if, when it gets hard, Simon sleeps in that shirt. Maybe it’s a weird thought, but it’s exactly what Bram would do if their roles were reversed.

He thinks back to Abby telling the story of the night Simon got caught drunk off his ass because he made Abby and Nick take him home to get a shirt to sleep with (not in). He wonders, and he hopes. And he listens to Waltz #2.

***

_Obviously, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing here, but what I’m trying to say is that I like you. I more than like you. When I flirt with you, it’s not a joke, and when I say I want to know you, it’s not just because I’m curious. I’m not going to pretend I know how this ends, and I don’t have a freaking clue if it’s possible to fall in love over email. But I would really like to meet you, Blue. I want to try this. And I can’t imagine a scenario where I won’t want to kiss your face off as soon as I see you._

_Just wanted to make that perfectly clear._

_So, what I’m trying to say is that there’s an extremely badass carnival in the parking lot of the Perimeter Mall today, and it’s apparently open until nine._

_For what it’s worth, I’ll be there at six thirty. And I hope I see you._

_Love,_  
_Simon_

Bram glances at the time in the corner of his laptop screen. 8:19pm. He still has time. He can make it. He can have his great love story.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @ femmevilde


End file.
